Clean Living, Day Five: Setbacks

So the things I ate today were pretty standard good cleansey things. Yay. I had a pretty good day at work and am making some headway into my new job tasks. There's still a lot to be learned. Like, a LOT. But I made a nice little start.

Then I went to the acupuncture clinic where I volunteer and had a nice time, and had a wonderful acupuncture treatment. It was great, and I was feeling great.

Then I got home and Collin and I got into a fight and now I'm just tired again. So I've watched 3 or more episodes of Fringe, put apple cinnamon oatmeal in the slow cooker for the morning, and looked unsuccessfully for the six packs of floss I ordered from Amazon several months ago. Collin is playing video games and the cats are looking to me for Third Dinner.

But, I'm going to bed. Tomorrow will be new, and maybe I will finally do yoga.

We'll see.

Clean Living, Day Four!

Stats

Time awake: 7:45 and finally on time for work
Video Games Played: 0, but the craving was pretty bad today
Water: probably about a liter
Caffeine: 1 cup of coffee (black), 3-4 cups of green tea with mint throughout the day
Time to bed: 12:30 (ACK!)

Food Eaten

Breakfast - Coffee, one egg cooked in olive oil

Morning Snack - Raw carrots, roasted unsalted chickpeas, cacao goji energy nugget, green tea

Lunch - Leftover roasted beets and sweet potatoes, green tea

Afternoon Snack - Leftover kitchari (1-2 cups), cacao goji energy nugget, green tea

Early Dinner/Snack - Roasted unsalted chickpeas, kombucha

Late Dinner - Leftover kitchari, roasted Brussels sprouts and carrots

Late Snack - Roasted unsalted chickpeas and an orange

Yoga

I have realized that I don't like doing yoga when Collin is here. It's hard for me to focus that time for myself when he's around. It's weird. So we spent 4 hours watching Hemlock Grove, the most terrible TV show in history (Thanks, Netflix).

Insight

I need to either 1) find a time to do yoga while Collin isn't here or 2) be more disciplined about making time for myself. It's kind of hard in a small apartment, but it's totally important. I know I won't feel like I'm doing all I can for my health until I'm able to commit that time for myself at least every other day.

Also, I'm eating a lot. It's good, but I'm not getting out of the habit of mindless snacking, which is a really bad habit that I struggle with quite a bit, and have for a while. 

Clean Living, Day Three!

Stats

Time awake: 8:15, and almost on time for work
Video Games Played: 0, but I watched Collin play for a few minutes
Water: not very much at all! oops. I totally forgot
Caffeine: 1 cup of coffee (black), 1 cup of green tea with mint in the afternoon
Time to bed: 12:15 am (not ideal!)

Food Eaten

Breakfast - Coffee, kombucha throughout the day

Morning Snack - Raw carrots

Lunch - Large handful of Castelvetrano olives, two vegan almond butter cacao truffles, a few vegetable chips with sea salt

Afternoon Snack - Leftover bean soup and black-eyed peas (2 cups), green tea with mint

Early Dinner/Snack - Several slices of roasted turkey

Late Dinner - Kitchari, roasted beets and sweet potatoes

Late Snack - Roasted unsalted chickpeas

Yoga

None! I feel so bad! Day three! But I'm ok. I'll feel better when I get the hang of this, but I'm doing ok so far. I'm very proud of myself for the progress I've made with my diet. I can't wait to start yoga. I've selected my routine. :-)

Insight

I felt no afternoon energy crash! That was cool. And I've been getting sleepier and sleepier all evening. I'm really hoping to sleep better tonight. 

Speaking of that...

xoxo

Clean Living, Day Two!

Stats

Time awake: 8:30, barely (late for work, not ideal)
Video Games Played: 0, but I watched Collin play for a few minutes
Water: probably only about a liter (not ideal, especially since I got a massage...)
Caffeine: 1 cup of coffee (black!), 1 cup of green tea with mint in the afternoon
Time to bed: 11:15 and counting

Food Eaten

Breakfast - Aforementioned coffee, kombucha throughout the day

Morning Snack - Cold oatmeal (about 1.5 cups, surprisingly delicious)

Lunch - Raw almonds (large handful), raw carrots (same)

Afternoon Snack - Aforementioned hot tea, leftover bean soup (about 1.5 cups)

Late Dinner - Black-eyed peas, roasted and unsalted chickpeas, raw cacao truffle (SUPER AMAZING)

Yoga

None! I feel so bad! Day two! But to be honest, I didn't get home until after 9 pm since I had a massage and acupuncture after work, then had to go straight to Whole Foods, and then wait around for muni after muni. I would have preferred yoga, but I was hungry and tired when I got home so I just didn't. However, I packed my lunch for tomorrow, so hopefully I won't be late for work again (!) and I feel absolutely amazing after acupuncture and massage.

Still doing herbs, meds, vits, and supps. I've been taking double dose of Calcium Fizz, which has magnesium in it, and I'm thinking it is helping with my restless legs! They didn't bother me during acupuncture tonight, which is a blessed change, so I'm going to keep doing it.

Yeah!

Clean Living, Day One!

Stats
Time awake: 10:00 am
Weight: 165.0
Video Games Played: 0
Water: 2 liters, approximately
Caffeine: 1 cup of coffee only
Time to bed: approximately midnight (would love to get to bed earlier tomorrow!)

I've taken my measurements but I'VE GOT TO DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE! I'll keep track of them offline.

Food Eaten

Brunch - Steel-cut oats (approximately 2 cups), coffee with creamer (prepared by my sweetie without realizing it contains both sugar and dairy, which I'm not eating, but sweet nonetheless)

Afternoon snack - Roasted and unsalted chick peas (probably too many, but YUM!), ginger kombucha

Dinner - Tamari and ginger seasoned tempeh with zucchini and carrots, hot herbal tea with ginger, and lemon water

Snack - Banana and lemon water

Yoga

One run through of the Introductory Iyengar routine outlined by Geeta Iyengar in Yoga: A Gem for Women. (I want to do something a little more rigorous next time, although I can't really say I gave it 100% since we were watching Hemlock Grove while I was doing it. I know, I know.)

Insights

This has been fun. I'm looking forward to it. I'm soaking black-eyed peas for tomorrow, and I've soaked the mung beans and rice for kitchari. I was looking forward to making it for dinner but then I realized I made an appointment for acupuncture and a massage after work. I know, my problems seem insurmountable at times, but I'll make it. Somehow.

Also, I don't think I was supposed to watch Dredd twice and 3 episodes of Hemlock Grove while on my cleanse. It just felt ... dirty somehow. Although Dredd is SO. GOOD.

Oh HI CLEANSE

Let me let you guys in on a little secret.

Ergh...

I'm almost as fat today as I was on my wedding day. Yes, it's gotten out of hand. Again.

I know I know, I'm so cute what could be wrong? Well, that's actually just the shirt talking (GO SANTA CRUZ!). In the other photos I'm wearing a bathing suit, so the cuteness is quite diluted.

Now, as I am totally not one for public shaming (of myself, obviously), I shall hereby disclaim that I love my body. My body has been through a lot as/with me, and it is for myself that I want to help my body out of its blubber wrap before it gets totally out of control.

My acupuncturist has recommended an elimination diet for me (and Collin, LOL) so I figured now is the time. 36 it is! (By the way, it's SO WEIRD that I'm 36. So weird. I wonder if everyone is as surprised as me about growing older.)

In this cleanse, I will eliminate a number of foods that frequently cause inflammation and digestive problems in people, and then gradually introduce them back in, one at a time, so I can determine which of them, if any, are problematic. These include: soy, wheat, corn, peanuts, dairy, and for me, nightshade plants (potatoes, tomatoes, bell peppers), among other things. I will drink more tea and less coffee. I will do yoga daily. I will not play video games (WAAT?!?!? Yes it's true). I will regularly get acupuncture and massage to help support my body through this process and keep myself motivated.

So in thinking about this cleanse, one of the suggestions is to make a list of intentions and goals for the cleanse. In keeping with that suggestion, here are my Cleanse Intentions:

1) I will be able to get up without creaking so much.
2) I will be able to digest my food more predictably and smoothly.
3) I will be able to sleep better.
4) I will be able to wake better!
5) I will not crave random weird foods late into the evening.
6) I will be calmer about the changes happening to my body as it gets to be more "lived in."
7) I will lose a few pounds.
8) I will have more time to do things I like.
9) I will feel more confident about my body and my life.
10) I will prepare myself and my body for pregnancy in case that is the path we end up taking.

Overall I'm pretty excited about this thing. I'll post summary stats in separate posts for each day, just because it's easier to keep up with. I've ordered a cleanse journal so as soon as it gets here I may stop keeping these facts public but in the meantime, I guess there's no harm in it.

So without further ado...

Oh HI BLOG

Oh HI everyone!




Yeah, I've just been thinking. Sorry about the delay. I can't believe it's been over a month since I've written. Like, almost two months! But, you know, better late than never, right? You still want to hear my stories, right?

Otherwise:


[VIDEO REMOVED BY YOUTOOB AND I DON'T REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS -charity]

No, but seriously. Here's a quick recap of what has happened since July 31st.

1) I got another job: HOORAY! I'm so excited. It's going to be awesome. It's full-time, more responsibilities, more pay, more opportunities for professional development, etc. Plus I don't even have to quit working at my current place of employment, which I love! So blessed.

2) I went home to North Carolina to go to the beach in August and had an absolutely phenomenal time. Feel free to visit my Tumblr blog for photos, although you'll have to scroll through pictures of...

3) My birthday trip to Santa Cruz, which was also wonderful! Collin and I had a party for my birthday which was awesomely sweet, and then headed down to Santa Cruz, where we spent a lovely time at the Boardwalk (with tickets to spare, meaning we'll have to go back - score) and then stopped by the Winchester Mystery House on the way back, which has been a dream of mine since I was a girl! Totally worth it. Totally.

4) So obviously, I had a birthday. BIG 36! Literally (see #6, and next entry on cleanse for more details).

5) I went to a yoga workshop at the Iyengar Yoga Institute of San Francisco, and now I really want to go take a few classes there. I'm excited about that possibility.

6) I started seeing another acupuncturist (in addition to volunteering at the Yerba Buena Community Acupuncture clinic, which I will continue to do and love every minute thereof) who is helping me with herbs and such. She recommended an elimination diet for me and Collin so I'm starting that TODAY! I'm actually going to write an entry just on that, so I'll end this one here.

Overall things have been super swell. I can't complain, nor would I want to.  Life is good. Majorly.

Charity :-)

Wishing for a thing doesn't make it so. - Captain Jean-Luc Picard

re: Work today

Not Gon' Cry (MJB)

The Highwayman is Everywhere

When I was a child, I found a book with "The Highwayman" in it at my grandmother's house (Alfred Noyes, 1906).

Not this guy.

I remember reading it then and even now have the same experience when I do: the first part is just magical, the romance palpable. The ending, on the other hand, is devastating. The foreshadowing is so obvious, even as a child I knew what would happen and dreaded it, but I couldn't stop reading, hoping that somehow it would end differently, heartbroken when again it ended tragically.

Loreena McKennitt performing her beautiful musical version of the poem. 
Even as a child I was seduced by this Highwayman, with his lace and velvet and promises. I didn't know what a Highwayman was, obviously, but despite this (because of it?) I fell in love with him. Who wouldn't? And the maiden "Bess, the landlord’s daughter,/ Plaiting a dark red love-knot into her long black hair." A woman lucky (and beautiful) enough to be loved by him.

They're Everywhere! I had never seen the video of one of my favorite Fleetwood Mac songs, so I never realized it was based on the poem! 
Noyes later said "I think the success of the poem... was because it was not an artificial composition, but was written at an age when I was genuinely excited by that kind of romantic story." He wrote it before he knew that life couldn't actually be that romantic, I guess. But in doing so he captured the feeling so successfully that we are all able to escape back to that mindset when we read the poem.


A different sort of Highwaymen, with a different sort of romantic vision of Highwaymannery, but impressive enough in their own right to be included.
I wouldn't be myself without pointing out, however, that I always got pretty jealous that the Highwayman got to have his exciting adventures in lace and velvet while Bess had to shoot herself in the breast while tied to a bedpost. Doesn't seem entirely fair.

Guess in the afterlife she's still waiting around in her bedroom all day. (Image from this place.)

Oh well.

xoxo,
Charity :-)

But Seriously, Though

Today I volunteer at the Conservatory of Flowers, one of my favorite places in San Francisco. I shall spend all afternoon telling tourists how to find the butterflies and urging them not to miss the aquatic plants. The fact that I'm not paid, interestingly, makes me not mind dealing with the tourists. I find that aspect of volunteering fascinating and refreshing. It's like, knowing that I don't have to be there makes it feel like a gift I'm giving the organization, and the people, too. And there are so many wonderful people there that I always leave feeling about 10 pounds lighter and 6 months younger. Although that could also be all the extra oxygen I'm getting from standing in front of a wall of plants. LOVELY!

Another fun thing about Conservatory day is that Collin walks with me and we get a hot dog in the park. These days are always good for reminding me of how lucky I am to live in the best city on earth. Sorry if you're not here, but it really is.

A few weeks ago, there were some Morris Dancers just doing their thing(s). It was super. I thought, maybe that would be a fun way to meet people. Why not, right? At least it's a good excuse to be there "with bells on" (that's probably where the saying came from, actually)! I could learn more about my heritage, make friends, and get some exercise. Why not?

It's nice to know I have options. One problem is that relying on public transportation causes everything to take twice as long, and driving directly home from something at 10 pm is a way different experience than taking a one-hour public transportation adventure involving trains, buses, and walks down dark streets with SF crazies in the middle of the night. Seriously. Not awesome.

What it feels like:


What it is actually like:

But, yeah. It's an option.

xoxo,
Charity :-)

White Dude Jammin' Part Two

More Pianotivation!

(My mom once told me that another name they considered for me was Murphy. I like to think it was because of this dude.)

Charity :-)

Got to Keep the Yang Up!

Hi Blog,

I just wanted to say hi.

Last night I played the piano for a few minutes. It was fun but kind of annoying. I got a book of standards which I thought would be perfect, but it is not that great after all. Oh well, I gave it an effort.


I'm going to rephrase my goal "Start playing piano more" as "I will be that white guy in the Soul II Soul Keep On Movin' video," which I think might motivate me more effectively.

As for my other goals, I've been trying to do yoga more but so far when I do yoga at home it's more like stretching. I know that has value, but I wish I could do yoga at home and then feel like, "Yeah, I DID that yoga," you know? So I'll just keep working on it.

I gained some weight back, probably because of my dinners Wednesday (veggie burger and fries) and Thursday (veggie nachos), but that's ok. It's a process.

Yesterday I had an awesome acupuncture treatment. I think today I'm going to run down to Clement Street and pick up some Chinese herbs. My Spleen Qi and Kidney Yang need some help. Maybe I'll pick up some Yak Loin?

(Oh Eddie Murphy, you're so much better than all of us.) Charity :-)

Two Years is a Long Time...

Well, ok then.

You know, I've had this nagging feeling in the back of my ... back ... urging me to write again.  I keep thinking I'll do it some more. Actually I've started a few blogs only to leave them languishing, worrying about what I should put in them, whether I should have one general one, specific ones tailored to different goals in my life, ones for travel, ones I will keep private and ones I will share, and finally it has just gotten to the point where I can't care anymore. I just need to write. So here I go.

I looked back and realized it's been two years since I blogged regularly.


Well to be honest, a lot has happened; and at the same time, nothing much has happened. I got back together with Collin, I moved to San Francisco, I got married to Collin, I lost my job (as anticipated), I was unemployed for several months, I got a job in a grocery store and worked there for a year and a half, I got promoted, I got demoted, I quit my job and got another job, and I got another job. In the meantime I've grown accustomed to life in San Francisco and am sad to say that I can't see ever moving back to the East Coast (especially and most sadly to NC, with the naughtiness being conducted currently by the NC General Assembly and its cronies). I've had an extremely stressful first year of marriage and come out on the other side, possibly (and bafflingly) even more in love with Collin than I was before.

Most sadly though, I've really been struggling with being socially isolated. I knew this was possible (likely) for me, due to my personality quirks (yes, let's call them personality quirks). However, I didn't realize how strongly it would hit me. I don't really have anyone to talk to anymore, except Collin. I love Collin and love talking to him but I know that it's not great to rely on one person for all my social needs. As an introvert, I don't really have many such needs, which made it easy to let those relationships slide. However, I realize now that it was not the best course of action.

So where does that leave me now? I have a few goals, and I'm excited to pursue them:

1) Get a job that is inspiring, satisfying, fulfilling, and challenging.
2) Lose fifteen pounds.
3) Get to the point where I'm doing yoga every day.
4) Cut down on video game playing to less than ten hours a week.
5) Write regularly: 2-3 times a week or more.
6) Make some new friends.
7) Start playing the piano again and learn to play the guitar (two-in-one big value special).
8) Have a cleaner apartment.
9) Have a baby. (Big one, lots of work to do before then, but why not dream big?)

To be fair, I've also completed a few goals that I want to brag about:

1) I've quit smoking. (This was kind of a freebie because I never really started again but I'm feeling generous so I'm including it.)
2) I got a real job, and then another real job on top of that one, and am doing pretty well in both (although feeling rather annoyed by both and itching for more).
3) I've lost 5-10 pounds, depending on the day.
4) I've quit drinking.
5) I've started doing yoga again.
6) I've started volunteering.
7) I've started getting acupuncture regularly.
8) I've survived the first year of marriage and come out happier than before.
9) I've started this blog. :-)

Right now I feel optimistic, enthusiastic, excited, and confident (mostly). Actually, that might just be the coffee. I should probably cut down on coffee but I'm trying not to be unreasonable (goals must be SMART, after all)!

I look forward to this new chapter of my life. There are so many things I want to write about; I'm very relieved to have the opportunity again. I might not write regularly, and I might not write frequently, but I'm going to try to just relax about it, and let this be a space where I can write when I need to, or when I want to. I don't need another thing to feel bad about so I'm going to try to just have this as a resource for myself. At the same time, I'm getting older, and my memory is getting less than sparkly, so I'm happy to have this as a place to record my memories for later (I'm definitely feeling the Memoir Bug).

Feel free to contact me and tell me how much you love me or want to talk. I need it. Otherwise, I'll just continue to talk here.

xoxo,
Charity