Oh HI CLEANSE

Let me let you guys in on a little secret.

Ergh...

I'm almost as fat today as I was on my wedding day. Yes, it's gotten out of hand. Again.

I know I know, I'm so cute what could be wrong? Well, that's actually just the shirt talking (GO SANTA CRUZ!). In the other photos I'm wearing a bathing suit, so the cuteness is quite diluted.

Now, as I am totally not one for public shaming (of myself, obviously), I shall hereby disclaim that I love my body. My body has been through a lot as/with me, and it is for myself that I want to help my body out of its blubber wrap before it gets totally out of control.

My acupuncturist has recommended an elimination diet for me (and Collin, LOL) so I figured now is the time. 36 it is! (By the way, it's SO WEIRD that I'm 36. So weird. I wonder if everyone is as surprised as me about growing older.)

In this cleanse, I will eliminate a number of foods that frequently cause inflammation and digestive problems in people, and then gradually introduce them back in, one at a time, so I can determine which of them, if any, are problematic. These include: soy, wheat, corn, peanuts, dairy, and for me, nightshade plants (potatoes, tomatoes, bell peppers), among other things. I will drink more tea and less coffee. I will do yoga daily. I will not play video games (WAAT?!?!? Yes it's true). I will regularly get acupuncture and massage to help support my body through this process and keep myself motivated.

So in thinking about this cleanse, one of the suggestions is to make a list of intentions and goals for the cleanse. In keeping with that suggestion, here are my Cleanse Intentions:

1) I will be able to get up without creaking so much.
2) I will be able to digest my food more predictably and smoothly.
3) I will be able to sleep better.
4) I will be able to wake better!
5) I will not crave random weird foods late into the evening.
6) I will be calmer about the changes happening to my body as it gets to be more "lived in."
7) I will lose a few pounds.
8) I will have more time to do things I like.
9) I will feel more confident about my body and my life.
10) I will prepare myself and my body for pregnancy in case that is the path we end up taking.

Overall I'm pretty excited about this thing. I'll post summary stats in separate posts for each day, just because it's easier to keep up with. I've ordered a cleanse journal so as soon as it gets here I may stop keeping these facts public but in the meantime, I guess there's no harm in it.

So without further ado...

Two Years is a Long Time...

Well, ok then.

You know, I've had this nagging feeling in the back of my ... back ... urging me to write again.  I keep thinking I'll do it some more. Actually I've started a few blogs only to leave them languishing, worrying about what I should put in them, whether I should have one general one, specific ones tailored to different goals in my life, ones for travel, ones I will keep private and ones I will share, and finally it has just gotten to the point where I can't care anymore. I just need to write. So here I go.

I looked back and realized it's been two years since I blogged regularly.


Well to be honest, a lot has happened; and at the same time, nothing much has happened. I got back together with Collin, I moved to San Francisco, I got married to Collin, I lost my job (as anticipated), I was unemployed for several months, I got a job in a grocery store and worked there for a year and a half, I got promoted, I got demoted, I quit my job and got another job, and I got another job. In the meantime I've grown accustomed to life in San Francisco and am sad to say that I can't see ever moving back to the East Coast (especially and most sadly to NC, with the naughtiness being conducted currently by the NC General Assembly and its cronies). I've had an extremely stressful first year of marriage and come out on the other side, possibly (and bafflingly) even more in love with Collin than I was before.

Most sadly though, I've really been struggling with being socially isolated. I knew this was possible (likely) for me, due to my personality quirks (yes, let's call them personality quirks). However, I didn't realize how strongly it would hit me. I don't really have anyone to talk to anymore, except Collin. I love Collin and love talking to him but I know that it's not great to rely on one person for all my social needs. As an introvert, I don't really have many such needs, which made it easy to let those relationships slide. However, I realize now that it was not the best course of action.

So where does that leave me now? I have a few goals, and I'm excited to pursue them:

1) Get a job that is inspiring, satisfying, fulfilling, and challenging.
2) Lose fifteen pounds.
3) Get to the point where I'm doing yoga every day.
4) Cut down on video game playing to less than ten hours a week.
5) Write regularly: 2-3 times a week or more.
6) Make some new friends.
7) Start playing the piano again and learn to play the guitar (two-in-one big value special).
8) Have a cleaner apartment.
9) Have a baby. (Big one, lots of work to do before then, but why not dream big?)

To be fair, I've also completed a few goals that I want to brag about:

1) I've quit smoking. (This was kind of a freebie because I never really started again but I'm feeling generous so I'm including it.)
2) I got a real job, and then another real job on top of that one, and am doing pretty well in both (although feeling rather annoyed by both and itching for more).
3) I've lost 5-10 pounds, depending on the day.
4) I've quit drinking.
5) I've started doing yoga again.
6) I've started volunteering.
7) I've started getting acupuncture regularly.
8) I've survived the first year of marriage and come out happier than before.
9) I've started this blog. :-)

Right now I feel optimistic, enthusiastic, excited, and confident (mostly). Actually, that might just be the coffee. I should probably cut down on coffee but I'm trying not to be unreasonable (goals must be SMART, after all)!

I look forward to this new chapter of my life. There are so many things I want to write about; I'm very relieved to have the opportunity again. I might not write regularly, and I might not write frequently, but I'm going to try to just relax about it, and let this be a space where I can write when I need to, or when I want to. I don't need another thing to feel bad about so I'm going to try to just have this as a resource for myself. At the same time, I'm getting older, and my memory is getting less than sparkly, so I'm happy to have this as a place to record my memories for later (I'm definitely feeling the Memoir Bug).

Feel free to contact me and tell me how much you love me or want to talk. I need it. Otherwise, I'll just continue to talk here.

xoxo,
Charity